As a kid who watched too much X-Files, my dream career was Paranormal Investigator With 90s Haircut. It didn't happen, mostly due to uncooperative hairdressers, but finally I can live out my UFO-hunting dreams with The Bureau: XCOM Declassified, the subject of this week's schlocky Show of the Week. In it we examine The Bureau's protracted development history, which saw it switch developers, names and even genres en route to being a finished game.
My fallback plan to become a Mad Max didn't work out on account of it 'not being a real thing'. Video games come to the rescue again, courtesy of Just Cause developer Avalanche. Its take on Max includes all the important stuff: ramshackle vehicles, a huge arid wasteland and plenty of vehicular combat. Take a look in this video preview.
Finally, allow us to lower the tone with the six unsexiest video game sex scenes. In many respects, it is incredible how games have blossomed into a mature, confident art form. Not so in the case of the love scene.
Fancy seeing two dead-eyed marionettes grind on each other? Or some polygonal boobies that could have your eye out? Want to cringe yourself in half hearing Chandler from Friends talk dirty? We've got you covered with the worst offenders. Just don't tell our mums, alright.
For all this, plus James's latest State of Decay video diary and some gameplay from the endlessly charming Rayman Legends, come to outsidexbox.com. See you next week! Unless the FBI approves my application. I'm not holding my breath, it's been 20 years.