Over the last few years, Ubisoft's press conference has become the show to catch during E3: crazy presenters spout endless non-sequiturs amidst fabulous games that mess with your expectations. Perfect viewing for the middle of the night, then. It's at the Los Angeles Theater this year from 3pm PST, which is 11pm BST / midnight CEST.
If you're around, you can follow it live here with Eurogamer writers in the US and the UK, some of whom remember the first UbiDays event in the guts of the Louvre many years ago where rabbits defecated live on stage. Can they top that? Find out.
Our live coverage of this event has finished.
– Tom Phillips
It's Ubisoft boss Yves Guillemot, noticing Patrice Desilet creeping up behind him.
– Tom Phillips
If only there was a haystack handy for him to hide in.
– Tom Phillips
Tonight we'll see more of Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag and Watch Dogs, Ubisoft's two big open world games due out in time for Christmas.
– Tom Phillips
Also look out for confirmation of The Crew, the new racing title from Driver: San Francisco developer Reflections.
– Tom Phillips
There's also been rumours of a new Prince of Persia. What better time to relaunch the series than at the start of a new console generation?
– Tom Phillips
As for Beyond Good & Evil fans - keep faith. Even if we hear nothing tonight.
– Tom Phillips
Where do people stand on the last Prince of Persia reboot? The one that wasn't a movie tie-in. I actually quite enjoyed it.
– Martin Robinson
Fingers crossed for a bit more Shaun White...
– Christian Donlan
Shaun White's Half-Boarding would work. Breakfast is paid for but he has to find his own lunch.
– Christian Donlan
Bon soir amigos! Let's Ubisoft!
– Ellie Gibson
Nought to Ubisoft in three seconds.
– Christian Donlan
He may dress at J Crew, but he can still rock.
– Christian Donlan
No man over 30 needs to wear a pendant on a little leather string. Even rock stars.
– Ellie Gibson
It's a guitar game! "OK 2007, let's ROCK!"
– Ellie Gibson
Just seconds into the Ubi conference and already I have no idea what's going on. A new record. Usually it takes at least eight minutes.
– Ellie Gibson
How could you have left Ross for the guy out of Mystery Men?
– Christian Donlan
This year's Ubisoft press conference is brought to you by QVC.
– Ellie Gibson
I've only just realised that's Lana from Archer.
– Martin Robinson
"Belly first, ass out." That's Ubisoft all over.
– Ellie Gibson
There is a lot of housekeeping to get out of the way up front this time.
– Christian Donlan
"There are no stupid questions." Oh my friend. Oh my dear dear friend.
– Ellie Gibson
"As they say at Ubisoft: didn't we get rid of you already, Patrice Desilets?"
– Christian Donlan
– Robert Purchese
– Robert Purchese
That would be amazing, wouldn't it? A shadowy figure strides through the auditorium, up onto the stage. He smashes the screens over with a breathtaking series of fierce roundhouse kicks. Raising his fists to the ceiling he throws back his head and roars, "JE... SUIS... DESILEEEEEEEETS..."
– Ellie Gibson
That's Shaun White!
– Christian Donlan
This all gives me great hope that we WILL one day see the return of Gex and Bubsy.
– Ellie Gibson
A hoodie? A HOODIE? Sir, you are on stage at E3! No one said black tie but good grief, make a bit of effort! Also, you are 41.
– Ellie Gibson
Oh wait, is he French Canadian? Makes sense.
– Ellie Gibson
French Canadians are born casual.
– Christian Donlan
Their constitution has a zip on it.
– Christian Donlan
DIGITAL CRACK. Yes, thanks to Ubisoft we'll all be living under bridges next year, begging passers by for any spare epic loot.
– Ellie Gibson
YVESSSSSSSSS
– Christian Donlan
She just called the internet pissy! I love this woman.
– Ellie Gibson
Give it some, Guillemot!
– Ellie Gibson
Crikey.
– Christian Donlan
Watch out for the wisps of his wife's Gitane smoke curling in from the side of the stage.
– Ellie Gibson
I hope he invites Tom Cruise on stage next.
– Christian Donlan
– Robert Purchese
Is he wearing a fleece? Good grief. This is not how wars are won.
– Ellie Gibson
It's Driver and this time the car's in a coma!
– Christian Donlan
(It isn't Driver.)
– Christian Donlan
RENO!
– Christian Donlan
Will its star ever stop rising?
– Christian Donlan
Sadly the car carrying all the in-game footage got caught in a pile-up.
– Christian Donlan
She accidentally inhaled Yves.
– Christian Donlan
Is that it from Yves then? Early flight back to Lilliput?
– Ellie Gibson
– Robert Purchese
That is not the face that accompanies the word "fun".
– Christian Donlan
And the universal hand gesture for "group up with your friends."
– Christian Donlan
Is that a lanyard hanging of his trousers or is he just really unhappy to be here?
– Ellie Gibson
Burnout's barriers! I'm already in favour of this game.
– Christian Donlan
– Robert Purchese
The hallmark of any good game presentation is a variation on the line, "See that mountain? You'll be able to..."
– Christian Donlan
– Robert Purchese
– Robert Purchese
Just like those arcades on ferries where you can both have a go! Except £58 more.
– Ellie Gibson
Mind you, it's easy to spend that before you're in sight of Calais if they've got a Jambo Safari machine.
– Ellie Gibson
This is either a segue to Watch Dogs or the recent NSA thing.
– Christian Donlan
Personally I'm looking forward to Game_and_Watch_Dogs, where you have to outwit a mysterious government agency across two LCD screens while avoiding barrels.
– Ellie Gibson
Well I don't know. We've had one exec in a fleece, another in a hoodie, someone else dangling lanyards all over the place. I'm half expecting the next bloke to come out wearing Speedos and a beer can hat.
– Ellie Gibson
YES.
– Ellie Gibson
Eurogamer 10/10
– Ellie Gibson
This is a live feed from inside Yves' head.
– Christian Donlan
MURS.
– Ellie Gibson
From the NSA to the cast of T4 in twenty seconds.
– Christian Donlan
Oh my God ANY SONG YOU WANT I am digging out my Anal C*** collection
– Ellie Gibson
That is literally the best thing I have ever seen.
– Ellie Gibson
Just Dance got its start as a mini-game???!!! Impossible!
– Ellie Gibson
Rabbid Invasion doesn't sound very cute.
– Christian Donlan
I want to invade my TV to change that shirt.
– Christian Donlan
Shirt.
– Ellie Gibson
We did this with Season 3 of Engie Benjy back in the mid 2000s.
– Christian Donlan
Let's just take a moment to remember Ubidays 2007, when they decided to put real live rabbits on the stage! Except they were terrified. So you saw these human hands shoving these little bundles out of the wings. And then they crapped everywhere. Happy days.
– Ellie Gibson
"Fun, dancing and rabbits." That's certainly what I was hoping to get out of this year's E3.
– Ellie Gibson
Don't you mean, you ARRRRR a pirate?
– Ellie Gibson
Assassins don't really blend in, do they?
– Christian Donlan
Pieces of 8 out of 10.
– Ellie Gibson
I'm going to disguise myself...with this iconic hood.
– Christian Donlan
"Anyone seen any assassins in here?" "Nope, not me, I'm just wearing this tea towel as a fashion statement."
– Ellie Gibson
I bet they'll release a patch.
– Ellie Gibson
I hope he said, "This will wheely hurt."
– Christian Donlan
If Desilets storms the stage and shivs him, we will have all gone meta.
– Christian Donlan
Oh, so now Ubisoft like pirates.
– Christian Donlan
Corduroy?? Honestly. It's like Michael Foot and the donkey jacket.
– Ellie Gibson
Piracy is killing gaming.
– Ellie Gibson
Look out for Just Dance: Pirate Edition. "Stab to your left! Stab to your right!"
– Ellie Gibson
Whale! Sold.
– Christian Donlan
Can you shiv a whale?
– Christian Donlan
Quite enjoyed that pirate trailer, even if it was a bit Man from Del Monte Meets Thom Yorke.
– Ellie Gibson
RedLynx! And actual gameplay.
– Christian Donlan
– Robert Purchese
Yves! His wife has sent him out. "Ziss is your show. Go. MAINTENANT."
– Ellie Gibson
She slowly grinds the Gitane under a Louboutin and reaches for another. "Allez."
– Ellie Gibson
Dark Winter is coming!
– Ellie Gibson
An MMO by people who read The New Statesmen.
– Christian Donlan
Enjoy, @chrisdearman.
– Ellie Gibson
How will they take all of this cutting edge material and turn it into rat punching?
– Christian Donlan
There is no game. Yves is just very concerned about stuff.
– Christian Donlan
Day 04: Elaine Page will cancel an appearance on Loose Women. Tesco's will run out of Hall's Soothers.
– Ellie Gibson
Scarf! Must be French.
– Ellie Gibson
Oh, just European.
– Ellie Gibson
Ironic use of jaunty song.
– Christian Donlan
Bronson? Mister Bronson out of Grange Hill? Now that would be the scariest video game boss ever.
– Ellie Gibson
Magic watch! But can it play Candy Crush?
– Ellie Gibson
All of this because somebody sneezed on a bank note, remember.
– Christian Donlan
I bet it's Bobby Kotick's fault. "Kleenex? Pah. I'll just use this $100 bill."
– Ellie Gibson
Cripes! Looks lovely. Horribly lovely.
– Christian Donlan
Bit of a downer ending.
– Christian Donlan
"You're all going to die! Anyway, we've been Ubisoft..."
– Christian Donlan
They are showering the audience with money. Covered in snot. Oh, youbisoft.
– Ellie Gibson
Not a classic conference by laser-taggin' Ubi standards, but that last game looks pretty special.
– Christian Donlan
No BG&E, but there's always Gamescom.
– Christian Donlan
Please join us for Sony at 2! Unless you have work tomorrow or that sort of thing.
– Christian Donlan
See you at 2am for Sony's conference. Here's hoping they've finally finished sticking all the bits on that machine.