Duke Nukem Forever

By Jeffrey Matulef Published 8 September, 2010

What are you waiting for, Christmas?

According to Jewish law, Duke Nukem Forever would be a man by now. First announced to the public in April 1997, this game has weathered the longest cycle of delays, cancellations, resurrections and cryosleeps, effectively mocking everything we know about game development and the space-time continuum in the process.

Well, the wait is nearly over. While it's by no means complete DNF has been seen, heard and played by visitors to this year's Penny Arcade Expo.

The story of how this happened is a long and twisted tale. It's the story of 3D Realms' determination to provide the successor to their 1996 hit, Duke Nukem 3D. After numerous delays, 3D Realms went bankrupt in 2009 - and Duke went with it. "The dream had died," lamented Gearbox president Randy Pitchford.

But not all was lost. Pitchford, as it turns out, got his start at 3D Realms back in the day. After leaving to start his own company, Gearbox, he began work on the wildly successful Borderlands. It was released last year, just after it looked like Duke had bitten the dust for good.

"But you can't kill the Duke," Pitchford exclaimed. He returned to the now defunct 3D Realms and helped out by absorbing some of the studio's staff into Gearbox. There, the idea was, they could finish the game. (Fun fact: Duke Nukem co-creator Allen Blum is still working on the game. Now that's determination.)

1

These shots are all taken off-screen, as official images still aren't available.

With all this in mind, I sit down at PAX to go hands-on with the demo. It begins promisingly, with the fan favourite quote "'It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum" splayed across a black background, Pulp Fiction-style.

The screen fades to Duke's point of view. We're looking at a urinal. The very first button you press in the game makes you pee for what feels like, well, forever - perhaps a nod to the audience's impatience, then relief at getting to play the oft-delayed title.

And perhaps reassurance that DNF will stay true to the series' trademark potty humour. You can go up to any toilet and pee, never running out of urine, which suggests Duke is the most hydrated hero in history.

After spending a minute messing around with the novelty pissing mechanic, I meet up with a squad of soldiers in a pep rally room. On the wall is a whiteboard bearing crude doodle of an alien which is labelled "cock block." You can draw on the whiteboard with dry erase pens in a multitude of colours if you so desire.

Duke was never much of an artist though, so leaving that behind I try joining the soldiers. However, collapsing roofs and piles of rubble get in my way. I head out into the middle of what turns out to be an American football stadium, where it looks like I'm going to have to face a giant alien cyclops alone.

3

He's all out of bubblegum.

The only gun available in this section is called a Devastator. It's a hybrid between a machine gun and rocket launcher, so it shoots lots of rockets very fast. The cyclops can shoot projectiles and dodge towards you, but he's not hard to dodge. In fact I deal with him just by circling him while strafing until I run out of ammo - at which point a helicopter appears and drops a fresh supply.

There's a spectacular finish, however. Duke yanks out the cyclops' eye and kicks a field goal with it.

Then the camera pulls back to reveal we've actually just been watching a videogame Duke is playing. A blond woman in a schoolgirl outfit emerges from under Duke's lap and asks, "Was it good?"

Her twin then reveals herself and asks, "And the game? Was it good?"

"After 12 f***in' years it had better be," replies Duke.

The next level on show is set not in the kind of metropolitan environment the Duke Nukem games are known for, but in familiar Borderlands-style desert terrain. You start out driving a red truck through a canyon. The controls are responsive but I run out of gas early on, before encountering a single enemy. The vehicle's appearance feels all too brief.

But now we're in more traditional Duke Nukem territory. Hog-headed aliens resembling Ninja Turtle's nemesis Bebop have popped out from behind rocks and are firing away. This is no cover-based shooter, however. Back in Duke's day there was no such thing as cover. Men fought in open battlefields, fighting it out until one side fell. Like real men.

And as for auto-aim? Forget about it. You kids today have it too easy. The DNF demo suggests this game will be surprisingly difficult for the likes of you, offering few concessions to modern gaming conventions.

Duke's health system has evolved, though. On finding myself down to my last sliver of health, I seek out a spot to recoup and watch it recharge to the mid-point. It's a happy medium between the mollycoddling rechargeable health of today and the more archaic health packs of yesteryear.

4

Godot ain't got nothin' on Duke.

There isn't a huge selection of weapons to choose from in the demo. The starting pistol is pretty standard. The disintegrating scoped rail gun adds a bit more flavour. But what really catches my eye is the shrink ray. Watching the opposition transform from a threatening hulk of meat into a housepet is hilarious in its own right and in keeping with Duke's philosophy that size does matter.

Putting the strippers and silly quips to one side, Duke Nukem 3D was known for its tight level design and host of secrets. These traits aren't apparent in the demo of Duke Nukem Forever. It's extraordinarily scripted with little room for deviation. However, it's a brief demo, and only time will tell what Gearbox has in store.

The demo certainly sets the tone. Everything in the game is big and stupid, but knowingly so. Duke's quips are by no means clever, but they're so dumb they're funny. It's as if Beavis and Butthead developed the skills and drive to make a videogame, yet maintained the same simple-minded sensibilities.

It's ridiculously crass and not for everyone, but DNF still has a goofy sense of camp that separates it from other, similarly violent guilty pleasures, where the pathos is incongruous to the action. Duke may not be deep, but he is consistent.

More on Duke Nukem Forever

The story of Duke Nukem Forever isn't really about aliens so much as it's about itself and how it came to be released. That's the story everyone wants to hear and Gearbox knows it. DNF had the longest line of any game at PAX (about three hours' queuing time according to Gearbox staff), and we all know why.

There's an air of mystery surrounding what has become the industry's longest running joke. But once the curtain lifts and the novelty has worn off, DNF will need to step up if it's to stand the test of time - lest it become the next Daikatana.

By wisely throwing in so many nods to Duke's legacy, this game hopes to swap common criticism like "dated" and "linear" for positives like "retro" and "streamlined". My time spent with Duke Nukem Forever was enjoyable, even if it did little to innovate. This game isn't trying to rewrite the first-person shooter rulebook. Instead, it's hearkening back to a simpler time, when story was just an excuse for guns, girls and gags.

Duke Nukem Forever is slated for a 2011 release on PC, PS3 and Xbox 360.

Picture of Jeffrey.

About Jeffrey Matulef

Jeffrey Matulef is a yank, but don't hold that against him. A freelance journalist by trade, he likes eating rhubarb pies, but not baking them.

Read more articles from Jeffrey by visiting the Jeffrey Matulef archive page.

You may also like...

Comments (53) Latest comment 2 years ago

Comments for this article are now closed, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Haloboy #1 2 years ago

    After Borderlands I'm betting Duke is in safe hands. Always bet on Duke, Pitchford and co.

  • randompanda #2 2 years ago

    The Shrink Way? Welease Wodger!

  • SlapLaB #3 2 years ago

    Hope it's better than Chinese Democracy (also 14 years in the making)

  • FooAtari #4 2 years ago

    Sounds promising. It's great they are staying true to the gameplay (dated my ass, nothing wrong with running and gunning), style and humor of Duke 3D. A little bit concerned about the demo being so heavily scripted and hopefully the final game will be a little more free.

    When I first watched the gameplay videos I was a little confused by the football field and the cyclops as thats the final boss in the first game, but makes sense now.

    Always new this would get released eventually and I cannot bloody wait. With Gearbox developing and some guys from 3D Realms now with Gearbox I think this will turn out well.

  • Amule #5 2 years ago

    Welease Worderwick

  • erp #6 2 years ago

    Slightly off-topic, but in reference to one of the captions, I actually prefer "off-screen" screenshots over official, promotional "screenshots".

    In fact I really miss them.

  • AnsemsApprentice #7 2 years ago

    Isn't it already finished though? I thought the game was like 95% complete when all the hullabaloo started. I don't think Gearbox have to do much, do they?

    Anyway I think it looks great. Can't wait to get stuck in!
    Edited by AnsemsApprentice at 08/09/10 @ 08:42

  • CaptainQuint #8 2 years ago

    Let's just hope it doesn't turn out to be a boring parody of itself, like Indiana Jones IV was.

  • Lee_Morris #9 2 years ago

    Great preview. Let this Jeffrey Matulef write some more stuff.

  • ryandsimmons #10 2 years ago

    Health regeneration? Shit.

    Actually it all sounds a bit rubbish really, too much "hey look it took 13 years to make! Hur Hur lets make another joke about it" which sounds too forced.

    Hope I am wrong though.

  • Eraserhead #11 2 years ago

    Sounds cringeworthily embarrassing, like something a 13 year old boy might think is "cool".

    But wait... it's being ironic and knowing! Of course! That's okay then.
    Edited by Eraserhead at 08/09/10 @ 08:57

  • FooAtari #12 2 years ago

    Sounds cringeworthily embarrassing, like something a 13 year old boy might think is "cool".

    That's what I thought about Gears of War really...

  • altitude2k #13 2 years ago

    I'm glad you said "Daikatana", EG, because that's the feeling that this whole circus is conjuring up.

  • Zerobob #14 2 years ago

    Hmmm, pretty much exactly what I expected.

  • magicpanda #15 2 years ago

    BALLS OF STE-E-E-E-L

  • orangpelupa #16 2 years ago

    <strong>"never running out of urine, which suggests Duke is the most hydrated hero in history."</strong>

    Hmm, it seems Tomy Angelo from Mafia 1 have blood-related relationship. He also can urinate on toilet lol.

    btw glad to see this is confirmed to be released on PC :D hoping it spec req is good, not so high.
    as for "no auto aim/assist", that would be OK. Mouse already easy to use without aim assist :D

  • jag10 #17 2 years ago

    'There's a spectacular finish, however. Duke yanks out the cyclops' eye and kicks a field goal with it'

    Duke Nukem 3D lol.

  • asphaltcowboy #18 2 years ago

    Why can I only ever read his name as Randy Pitchfork? Anyone else suffer from this affliction?

  • frostcircus #19 2 years ago

    Did you actually mean to say the girl emerged from under Duke's lap? Good lord.

    If the world's first look at such a ridiculously long-awaited title really does contain a rimming scene, then it's the medium's biggest and most important leap forward in a long time.

  • faselei #20 2 years ago

    Wait, the game actually exists now... :o

    The hands-on is promising. As long as its funny i think it will get away with it being a little 'standard'.

  • TheTingler #21 2 years ago

    "Duke Nukem Forever is slated for a 2011 release... "

    HAHAHAHAAA!

    Still my most wanted game, though. Even if Gearbox should really have opened with the exact release date.

  • Rufus #22 2 years ago

    Great hands-on Jeffrey, really enjoyed reading it!

  • schnide #23 2 years ago

    It's called the Devastator..
    The Shrink [R]ay..

    Have you played DN3D before?

    The Shrink way..
    aren't apparend in the demo..

    ..or proof read?

  • Azazel #24 2 years ago

    A game that was announced in the world before Google.

  • schnide #25 2 years ago

    Still, minor writing gripes aside, I strongly disagree with the point of this article - Duke wasn't about gun, girls and gags. The gameplay in Duke Nukem 3D was fantastic, and the guns, girls and gags were simply window dressing for it and made it a very distinct world. I want to see Gearbox really take that concept by the horns and build on it rather than polish off what sounds like a very generic shooter that 3D Realms were starting to churn out as the wheels came off. Here's hoping.

  • FreakyZoid #26 2 years ago

    > Have you played DN3D before?

    There are going to be a lot of people reading this that never have.

  • Kostabi #27 2 years ago

    The fact I can remember when DNF was originally announced and I'm still excited for it says everything. Gearbox doing the finishing touches only makes it better.

    Excitement!

  • gjgjg #28 2 years ago

    expect little, be plesently suprised, thats my duke motto.

    duke on the cube was great, especially co-op battles. come get some, being his motto then...

  • dingo75 #29 2 years ago


    Did you actually mean to say the girl emerged from under Duke's lap? Good lord.

    If the world's first look at such a ridiculously long-awaited title really does contain a rimming scene, then it's the medium's biggest and most important leap forward in a long time.

    One twin has given him a blowjob while he beat the end boss of Duke 3D while the other twin watched him play.
    That's like 5 min in the demo.

    -> The reason this game is pre-ordered day 1 regardless of price!

  • FooAtari #30 2 years ago

    @Freaky
    There are going to be a lot of people reading this that never have.

    Man, that makes me feel old...

  • lucky_jim #31 2 years ago

    I downloaded Duke Nukem 3D for XBLA when it was a 400msp deal of the week, cos I had nostalgic memories of playing the shareware version which I'd surreptitiously installed on my mum's PC when I was a kid. I was surprised at how difficult it was, if DNF is as old-school in this regard as this preview makes it sound then those of us who've got used to the likes of Borderlands are in for a bit of a shock.

    I have complete faith in Gearbox handling this. In Borderlands, they've produced my second-favourite FPS of this gen (after Valve's L4D games).

  • darkmorgado #32 2 years ago

    what really catches my eye is the shrink way

    God, I hate those annoying streets that make you smaller if you walk down them.

    These traits aren't apparend in the demo of Duke Nukem Forever.

    A bit of editing wouldn't go amiss here...

  • darkmorgado #33 2 years ago

    Do we know if the casinos or the bearded hillbilly from back when the game was announced are still in it?

    /Remembers the original screenshots

    /feels old.

  • schnide #34 2 years ago

    @darkmorgado

    Like I said at 10:19 then? ;)

  • Retro_ #35 2 years ago

    Duke Nuken was never more than being a humerous Doom Clone, the world has moved on and sadly, I can see this game as being the equalivant of "Blues Brothers 2000", i.e. a steaming pile compared to the original. Sorry but that's just my hunch.

  • BoffBoff #36 2 years ago

    Shrink Way?
    "I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called Biggus Diccuss!"

    Anyway, enjoyed DN3D way back in the day - hope I haven't become too old and jaded to enjoy the 'dumb humour' in DNF!

  • Tyronne #37 2 years ago

    Picking this up regardless of what any of the reviews end up saying.
    This has been at the top of my `to get` list for so many years now that I was thinking of getting it a pension.

    Always bet on Duke.

  • Freek #38 2 years ago

    Genius!.

  • jefranklin18 #39 2 years ago

    Hopefully this good. I always preferred Duke to Doom, as the juvenile humour made it more enjoyable to play (for me).

    With this so close to completion, Elite 4 will have to take the vapourware crown.

  • Wheatley #40 2 years ago

    Chuck Norris has played Duke Nukem Forever. Twice.

  • darc #41 2 years ago

    The project is a commercial win no matter what. Good or bad, it's had more PR than any other single game in history, and even if critics pan the thing (which is the prediction I'm leaning toward at the moment) folks will buy it out of a) nostalgia or b) morbid curiosity. (Though I'm guessing the majority of those sales will happen after a price reduction.) If critics acknowledge it as even a mediocrity - or better - it will fly off shelves.

    I really have my doubts about this sort of humor working in 2010 or 2011 or whatever though. It seems a little meta-meta-meta. We've been around the PC versus non-PC versus just being ironically non-PC merry go round so many times it's dull, so these gags have to be legitimately funny if they're going to fly with the broader audience video games enjoy today. The example given ("was it good";) is pretty cringeworthy and I'm no prude (loved the original BTW.) It doesn't help that the strippers in question look a whole lot more like "girls" than "women" either.

    But there's no such thing as bad press, and one thing this game will never be is overlooked.
    Edited by darc at 08/09/10 @ 16:15

  • darc #42 2 years ago

    "lol, it looks old and shit in those pics"

    It is a bit lackluster considering the game's legacy and hype. And some of the "concept" art they've chosen to put on display is even more troubling than the graphics - embarrassing, really.

  • KDR_11k #43 2 years ago

    What, finally a game where you don't need cover? Yay!

  • TwitchyMcTwitch #44 2 years ago

    So what if the game turns out to suck?

  • oerhoert #45 2 years ago

    "It's as if Beavis and Butthead developed the skills and drive to make a videogame, yet maintained the same simple-minded sensibilities."

    To be fair, this rings true for most of the video games industry. ;)

  • superdelphinus #46 2 years ago

    wtf

    is duke a paedo now too?

  • glaeken #47 2 years ago

    I am not holding out much hope for this. I suspect Gearbox are just getting whatever code 3drealms had into a state where it can be shipped as a finished game. It makes sense if there is virtually a complete game in existence to release it given how well known DNF has become as it will probably sell quite well just based on people being curious about just what on earth 3drealms were doing all that time.

    As long as the game is not a total mess I am sure it will be a commercial success but I am not expecting anything special from the game itself.

  • Mashum #48 2 years ago

    If the console release has no auto-aim then the the weight and momentum of the controls better be f*king marvellous - or it'll be Turok all over again.

  • TexMurphy01 #49 2 years ago

    Elite 4 next! Come on industry! Nah, just kidding, unless it's a cheap shitty console or mobile phone game. Sorry Frontier Developments, but the truth hurts.
    Edited by TexMurphy01 at 09/09/10 @ 23:38

  • pevans34 #50 2 years ago

    DN3D was good because it was well designed AND because of the humor. Secret locations, interactive environments, fun weapons, awesome music, and of course the humor on top of that made it all come together in the best way.

    Just the humor alone aint gonna save this game. Im still wicked excited though.

  • The_KFD_Case #51 2 years ago

    Sold!

  • teh_MBK #52 2 years ago

    "...offering few concessions to modern gaming conventions."

    Best news ever!

  • DrMGinius #53 2 years ago

    'Hands On'?!

    What did miss?!